You heard it here first. I suppose it started as a humanitarian effort. I mean, those monkeys had to work somewhere. They were far too domesticated to release into the wild, and Humana liked their mean streak–if an animal can tear apart a straw man, certainly they can heap piles of stress onto families too overwhelmed to fight them.
But they picked a fight with me. Which is a bad idea.
I actually got in a Twitter fight with their customer care (ha!) today. And I’m pretty sure I won. But then, I’m fighting against flying monkeys. I have the distinct advantage in intelligence. And proof. And morals.
I’ll make this short. Humana’s monkeys are experts in runaround, rigamorale, deception, and switcharoos (Before they went to work for the Wicked Witch, they were in a circus). Add to that Humana’s expert employee training in subterfuge, and you have a recipe for a winning team.
I have been told 3 times that Humana doesn’t cover certain proceedures (my birth control, my instacare visit, and our preferred doctor for our son). The first two were completely covered by Humana, AND THEY KNEW IT. But they refused coverage in hopes that we wouldn’t have the energy to fight (which we didn’t, but did anyway. Cause you don’t mess with me).
Humana fought us tooth and nail to pay for a decent wheelchair for my son. They’re almost impossible to reach via email or phone. But if you tag them, they’ll respond most cheerfully that they will respond. But then they lose your email. Which I still have a copy of.
In fact, here, you can read it:
I called earlier this week and talked to Joan. She was supposed to find out if Dr. Steven Scott in SLC, Utah, takes Humana. According to Humana, he does. According to Dr. Scott, he does not. She wasn’t sure if she could figure it out because she couldn’t find an outside line (don’t believe that) to call the Dr in order to find out his tax id #s. Then she might have to look up his contract, which could take a whole week. Pulling up a contract on a computer should take SECONDS. Scanning it for contract dates should take SECONDS.
Second, my son has a disease in his femur which makes it incredibly fragile. We were sent home from the hospital without a walker or wheelchair, and had to find one through a charity organization. Neither the walker nor the wheelchair were small enough. Consequently, he’s fallen out of his wheelchair 3 times, which is incredibly dangerous for him–as rebreaking his femur is very high risk. It’s also hard for him to wheel it around because the wheels are too big for his small arms to reach around properly. We also bought him crutches out of our own pocket.
Lastly, I went to my gynecologist last week to be preapproved for an IUD. Humana responded that they would cover it 80/20. Birth control should be completely covered by the Affordable Care Act.
I’m also annoyed that I had to schedule two appointments for what could have been covered in one. I had to have one appointment for my well visit. And another to insert the IUD. I figure this will take an extra 2 hours out of my day, not to mention the humiliation of having another exam.
Also, it shouldn’t take 10 minutes to talk to an actual person on the phone when I call Humana.
They also only covered two places to get a wheelchair in the valley. One company proved impossible to get a hold of, so I went to the other. And was given a wheelchair with unusable breaks. It was old and falling apart.
I could go on, but why? I’ve proven my point. And I’ve been funny about it. Which takes talent.
So here’s what you can do, let’s let them know that there are more people than flying monkeys. And they should treat people with respect.