A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks directly behind him.
Since St. Peter was standing right next to the man, he asked him, “What are all those clocks?”
“Those are Lie-Clocks,” St. Peter said. “Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.”
“Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter. “The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”
“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock,” St. Peter said. “The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s Dick Cheney’s clock?” asked the man.
“Dick Cheney’s clock is in Jesus’ office,” said St. Peter. “He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

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