BURNING RUBBER


In 1992, in Houston Texas, the day after Pat Buchanan foalminated in his famous Cross of Mold speech at the Republican National Convention about how ours was a Christian (mean: fat lazy rage-filled middle-aged white men in the red states fucking their zombie wives up the ass in Barca Lounges) country, George H.W. Bush gave his keynote address – which, if possible, was an even more genuine embarrassment that Pitchforkedtonuge Pat’s was.

Among little Georgie’s bons mots: ‘Why, if that governor of Arkansas get elected President, nothing will ever get done in the Congress. Clinton-Gore, Gridlocked Congress (actually, it would stand to reason, according to the Republican viewpoint, that plenty would get done, but never mind. The intellectual difference between George W and George H.W. basically comes down to this: George W. wouldn’t even be permitted to carry the fruitcake salad to a Mensa meeting, while George H.W. might at least be able to bring the cowpies). Just picture that. (And now, in a complete contradiction of what he said). And picture something even worse: (starts banging fist rapidly, bringing voice to stacatto crescendo): a rubber check Congress (a Congress that would spend out of control), and a RUBBER STAMP PRE SI DENT!”)

(Crowd goes wild – that is to say, one member even does a jig – breaks into dance, that is).

So, from 1992-1994, some would say we had a “Rubber Check Congress and a Rubber Stamp President”
From 1994-2000, we had a “Rubber-Hating Congress” and a “Rubber-Less” President
What have we had from 2001-the present?

A Rubber check, rubber-hating, rubberized (i.e. Ted Stevens) Congress, and a President in rubber pants.

Beginning in January of 2007, could it just be that we have a GENUINE rubber check Congress (i.e. one that writes a check that ACTUALLY bounces, as if that could happen in Washington), one that no longer answers to a now lame rubber-duck President?

That, as Shakespeare said, is the rub.


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